yay/boo.

YAY,
winterconcert=good.
XD
decent. Lol,
i know i made some mistakes.
i didnt cry tho, i didnt make a big deal out of it.
and o.o
it kinda felt like.. i heard my name more than i heard it on my birthday.. lol
it was kinda scary. =/
"omg Leah ur so good"
"great job Leah"
"wow, Leah ur hella good'
blahblahblah. thank you [=
><
and ppl liked the dress too >=]
iknewit.

but u didnt...
which kinda put me down.
thanks for coming..
but i have no idea if u watched ur not.
are u tired of supporting me?
maybe u just shouldnt go then,
u need rest anyway.
i see no point if there are other ranking officers there for u to be there.
=/ i thot ud probably at least be there for me.
... but u didnt even say goodjob
or u look pretty...
or even say hi or bye..
we just had a couple conversations.
and thats it.
...
its kinda funny, how i get all these congrats stuff from basically 'strangers' [acquaintances],
but you. my closest and dearest 'friend'.
didnt even bother.
its sad.
i find it disappointing that i was looking forward to hearing wat ud say.
..
lets no dwell here for so long tho.
maybe ull tell me the next day.
NO.
u didnt
today passed.
i guess it doesnt really matter to u.
i know,
ur not having an easy time at all,
and u have enough to think about and all the other shit u have to deal with
but ..
u could at least said good job..
or something.
because SHELOVESYOU.
dont go breaking her heart.
my heart.
.
....
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
..

.o.o
.
.
...
.
.


i feel as if im loved and hated.
and i dont mind that,
many ppl are.

but i find it awkward for ppl to hate me
if they dont know me
or if they just give me this look...
u know that look o.o
the 'evil' ish kinda look or the rar.' fck u' kinda look

i dont like it.
but who gives a __ abt those ppl,
they're probably... not nice anyways.


but i find it more awkward to be adored by ppl whos names i dont even know.
lol
blahblahblah.
thanks, but u dont have to say it every freakin time i see u
gosh, leave me alone x.x

piano's not the only thing about me.
its just part of my life.

i adore the ppl who would adore me if they knew everything.
..
i dont adore many ppl...
actually...near no one. for now.
ish.


but like...
this concert was different.
it went by fast,
w/o anxiety


and i wanna know why. o.o
it was weird for me to go by a concert like this.

or maybe this was how it was before the incident.
i like it.
[=

its easy.
and fun.

and i like getting compliments.
[sometimes]
its nice.



..
its nice to finally be noticed.
for something that i do.

for something thats REALLY.. me.