im sorry

im sorry im not a good friend.
i wanna be there for u..
but i cant.
i wanna help u..
but it seems like im not able to.
i want to make everything better
i want to turn back time and... make shure he didnt die
i want to make ur life better...
i dont want u to suffer anymore.
i dont like seeing u like this..
or right now hearing u go thru all of this.
i just want to take u in and care for u.
id do it.
i swear...
[... if only i could..]
i want to show u how much i love and care for u.
i wanna let u know that there are ppl in the world that DO care.
ppl that dont want all this BULL.. to happen to u.
the BS that isnt supposed to happen to a wonderful person like u.
u dont deserve it.
i wanna hear u say ur not giving up.
i dont wanna hear u say u dont care anymore.
i want u to be happy.


...
i wanna know wat happened
i wish i was a better friend.
im not good in these type of situations.
i dunno wat to do to help.
..
u know wat i wouldve done tho?
i wouldve 'drove' [if only..] to u.
i wouldve dropped everything i was doing and id RUN to u.
or... make my way to u as fast as i could..
then id give u the biggest hug ever and..
tell u to talk to me.
tell u to tell me everything.
all of it.
so that u wouldnt cry anymore.
so u want feel anymore pain.
then... id try to help.
and if i couldnt..
id try at least to make u feel better.
i hate hearing u cry.
it makes me cry too..
but i dont mind if u cry to me.
i know u trust me.
i miss u.
..



so yea,
im sorry i couldnt do anything.
ill call u tmrw,
and see if ur ok.

i tried calling u earlier [again] but u never picked up.
which scared me..
alot.

but i just hope ur ok.
and safe.
and sleeping.
and dreaming.
..with food in ur stomach.
=/

ill call and ask if ur alright.
and ask wat happened if u still wanna talk about it.
and maybe ill ask u to come by later.
i know ud probly want something to eat maybe yes?
hm..


i hope u answer kira.
im worried.