And that.. ONE, id only read if i KNOW i want to cry =/ it was the one u gave me or was supposed to give me July 4th 2007.. gah, im an idiot. I sorta talked to you about them today, but we didnt say much. ahhh, it makes me want to write to you more, i find it cute... i saw how much u loved me, or at least how much u wrote that you loved me and missed me. apparently we talked on the phone back then... now if i call you.. id have to make it quick or important.. but honestly i want to call you for no reason, and id want you to ask my how my day was and we'd exchange thoughts and maybe even be silent for a while enjoying the presence of the person w.o being near that person at all... and then end it by saying i love you... thatd be perfect. I'd want to always have those conversations, or maybe even these love notes. You said I love you to me today. [= i made me EXTREMELY HAPPY. because i havent heard that from you in a long time, i usually.... say it wen im so inclined to, but i stopped because i never got it back. and Today you said... "I love you, i think you're cute". i miss you so much... yesterday night i couldnt sleep because i was reading those love notes and was crying my eyes out.. thinking that id try to get over you. but today changed it... maybe theres a chance? but i shouldnt worry about that right now... even though its been running through my head since FOREVER. i feel comfortable wen im with you, as if it doesnt really matter wat im wearing, wat im doing. You give me that look, i like it. I find it odd? [cant exactly think of the right word] ...well yea, i find it odd that... we kiss still. but it makes it clear to me.. that you still like ME.. but how would i know if im the only one u kiss... i dont want to ask you that because.. im afraid to find out.. because im afraid of wat i would do to myself.. if i wasnt. i ask you for hugs every time i see you because its the best way i could feel close to you, your arms around me with my arms around you, eyes closed [lol, having ur sent wrap around me and encase me with your addictive smell] with a small tight squeeze from you. a breath of release.. and then the painful departure. but made less painful with a kiss.. recently youve been kissing me on the forehead. i think its cute because youve never done that before, of all the times we've been together, uve never kissed me on the forehead except for then. and i dont CARE if i get sick because you kissed me..[ish], because it means that you REALLY kissed me. you kissed me so much that those things, we not share. Its weird how much im into you. its like i can compare you to how much i love music and piano, and ive been loving that since i was 4. i only met you when i was 12. XD woah, 12?... im 17 now, i've really known you for 5 years? id like to say... 'only 5 years?' and... 'DAAAANG 5 years?' but... id contradict myself, but thats how i feel. i really really wish i could spend more time with you, but time wont allow... and you wont either. because ur busy... and im busy[ish].. ugh, i was kinda sad when u said u had something to do with someone else, because i... put aside that afternoon thinking maybe we could hang out somewhere... but i guess not, but in time? really? will we ever get to hand out besides sundays? we dont even hang out much after... because u want to go home.... i love you, but maybe i cant spend time with you because im not as high up on ur list as other people are. it makes sense... i think... but honestly, id spend every waking moment of my free time with you. all the hours i'm on myspace/facebook or even blogging this.. id spend with you... all those moments where i find myself bored.. id wanna spend that time with you... all the times where Kasama let me down... and wasted my time.. id want to spend it all with you. but thats impossible. because it seems like ur trying to move on, except for sundays. on sundays you love me.....sunday mornings... thats the only day i look forward to now. i dont like school anymore.. im kinda a loner. its sad how the grp kinda feel apart, and now... i hang in a room where i barely know ppl..[kinda, im still pretty good friends with some of them] i miss ateh, i wish she was here... or at least.. if i could stay with you... but u hang out in ur place of sanctity.. and i shouldnt bother you there. i sometimes play piano.. but most of the time i wish you were there to watch me... so we can be together even for just... break [brunch .... -.-..., cuz u thought brunch was middle school-y.. lol.. in the letters].. for just 15 minutes.. id LIVE for those 15 minutes. I find myself always wanting to call or txt but i stop myself.. because i know id hurt myself if i do.. because ur not gonna txt back.. or u probably wont answer... or if u do answer.. i wouldnt really have anything important for u to hear. i miss the times when u would call me... *sigh...
im gonna write u a love note for christmas. i love you kira, i think ur cute [=
i hope you're gonna write back.
P.S. i Love You So Much =)
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