today,

today u asked me wat my ring size was.
but u asked me wen we were at work.
so... i wouldnt really know because pianists doing wear rings, ..
apparently,
so thats i have alota necklaces cuz it doesnt matter wat u wear around ur neck wen u play piano.

so i told myself to check wen i got home and txt to right away.
to show that i remembered ur question.

but since u asked that..
ive been wondering y.

did u read my last blog?

i doubt it.
i dont even know who read it anymore.
but i dont really care,
because.
i know its probably just the people that matter anyway.
and thats good.


anyways..
im really wondering y u asked me about my ring size.


and i cant help but think u know...
maybe.


but thats totally impossible.
because we both know.
..
ur ...hm.


well anyways.
today i finished that book.
'when it happens' by susane colasanti

i loved it.

it was by far the BEST book ive ever read.

except,
'tobey' reminds me of nathan.
and how cute he 'is'

..sad think is that, o.o hes a freshman that goes to valley christian.
distance is.... the main problem really,
but uknow.... if i drove.
id probably drive to him everyday.

he was so...idk. different,
interesting,

but some aspects of him pointed to 'dave'
some that wenever we email each other,
he never really asks me about myself.


kind of the reason y i broke up w/ him was to...
get to know him more before...
stuff,
but idk if he got that.

hes...
obviously inexperienced.

so ill let him swim.

but ill keep my contact,
because i think its safe to say,
it'll be good to have connections like him in the future,
hes cute,
talented [musician wise]
and o.o
yea.
i think he'll get pretty far,
even tho hes hanging out with his friends after school who have this grand scheme to watch movies 30 mins at a time to pass time after school because they have 'free time'.
even tho hes this odd type of mix that makes me so interested in him;
hes a trumpet playing wrestler skater dude,
who knows more music theory and music STUFF ingeneral than me.
which is surprising right?

hes something.
and to think,
HE asked ME out summer of junior yr.
;]
freaking amanda.
totally set it up,
more like obviously told him to.
but it was weird,
because i dont think people would have expected me to say 'yes' to an 8th grader.
and me being one of the oldest and maybe. most influential there [w/o me knowing it]
...say yes to nathan?
..o.o
tao.
lol

interesting. indeed.
funny,
the way frank looked at us in 'mars' class.
XD
yes... we're holding hands,
o.o
yes... he has his arm around me.

i think its cute how he asked me first before he held me.
its cute how he was holding me, but shyly let got after his friends blah.
they're just freshman,

imagine him later on.

i wonder if he got that girl he was talking about earlier.
this guys got potential,
cuz hes easy to talk to,
and he can talk.
and hes cute XD.


anyways,

moving on from freshman..

i really dont know,
because.
even tho we 'bond' together ...
i dont feel like he feels like its anything,

maybe its because we're all blah and stressed and busy and blah.

i just like it wen sometimes we recap our lives and then talk randomly about stuff.
cuz its easy and fun sometimes,
its a good stress reliever,
to fall asleep on the other side.

but i dont see it getting far because idk if anythings there...
because ONE- hes not doing anything obvious enough for me to be able to tell
TWO- maybe i dont want anything to happen because of... 'superman' -____- again! [ugh, ruiner]
THREE- im waiting,
FOUR- maybe im just not his 'delilah'..

so... ill just keep this up..
apparently in the book they also talk about talking on the phone.
and how guys play this game..
where they dont call everyday so they dont seem desperate...
so they call 3-4 times a week..
and those other days...
they just dont because... if they do it might come off as..yea =/
but i honeslty wouldnt mind because i enjoy those talks.
and i dont really lose anything,
i gain more.

its interesting to see part of ur life in a book by a person u had no idea existed until last friday.
because it also said that there this rule,
about calling and stuff.
and all this confusing stuff i guess i should know but i dont..
because this book is about seniors.
and i am...
therefore i should know.

but i guess not.

life sucks wen u read things ur supposed to know about.
but u really had no idea about.

like... i thought that..
this phone/calling thing was jus... this thing that happens b/t me and him.
but apparently it happens to alot of ppl.

so ..wat if o.o
he calls me/i call him these days,
but he totally calls someone else the other days,
and its like the same thing, =/

maybe thats y i dont do anything about it,
because i feel like its not really me,
because itd be ...well not weird.. just, idk....ugh,
this weird unexplainable thing if it waS me.
idk if good ot bad thing,
but just different.


but... in dennis's case.
i know
wat would happen.
so thats a different feeling...
i havent had a 'decent' conversation with him in a while since today.
and i guess u can say we only really 'TALK' once a week.
compared to other guy which like 4-5-6x.

idk,
today confuses me.

and i cant seem to find my ring size,
so ill let it slide til tmrw,
wen i look for the receipt.


today was exhausting,
maybe i should start talking.....


hmmm,
but hes watching this drama thing...
maybe i shouldnt bother him
.

o.o ill wait til he talks first....



off to fight crime
and the forces of. EVILLLLLLL.

dun dun dundundun duuun dun.
;]