dogtag.

i find it odd when ppl read the dogtag that i wear..
because
its not one of THOSE dogtags,
its a prototype to a 'real' one..uknow,
so its writing is horizontal.
and difficult to read.
so i find it odd that its obvious wen ppl read it
because they tilt their head..
wats worse is wen they touch it....
to read it.
its like.. WTF man... i never said u could touch it.
its very dear to me, because he gave it to me.
and wenever he gives me something
i cherish it with my life.
because he was first to love me, and tell me/show me..
besides my family.
and
maybe this dogtag will be one of the last things ill ever get from him
because hes leaving..
june28.
and i.... might not see him again
ever.

and maybe i dont want u to touch it or read it because
i wanna pretend its not gonna happen.
..that he wont leave.
but i still wear it every day o.o and every night wen i sleep =/
even tho it reminds me that ur leaving.


it reminds me that ur leaving.
so i want to make the most of every minute i spend with u.
but i tend to be busy..
or not say things i want to say...
and i know ill regret it later on.

wat i want u to know is that i LOVE u.
and even if after june 28,
ill ever see u again and we'll meet.
i want u to know that i'll always keep u in my heart and mind.

you're someone i never want to forget,
even if u DO love someone else.
or if u WILL marry someone else in the future.


but in all honestly,
the second u leave,
all ill be waiting for is the second ull come back.
and when its all over and done,
maybe ull ask me to marry u.
like that time in 8th grade..
in front of weilers class
with those 2 chocolate hearts....
[but w/o u saying 'i was just joking,
i did that to other girls to see their reaction']
and id say yes.
and we'd be happy... together.
more importantly, ud be happy.
because if ur happy, ill be glad ur happy.
nothing else would matter.



ill miss you when u leave.
so im glad i have this dogtag to hold u close to my heart
even wen ur not there to hold on to.

this dogtag lets me sleep with u.
it lets me take u everywhere.
it helps me sleep..
wen im afriad, i hold on to it for strength.
i clutch it for goodluck
i kiss it wen im alone and think of u.


maybe im... too obsessed with it.
o.o
because im too obsessed with u...



but im afraid of losing u.
because i KNOW it'll happen.
because the morning of june29
ill wake up and realize..
ur gone.

and all uve left me with is this dogtag.

[and teddybear. and the tubeything with the bear and the iloveyou balloon inside. and the glass piano. and the golden bracelet from magicmountain and the star necklace u gave me in middle school. and all the notes we've ever passed that ive kept. and all the memories of u that replay in my head..]