yesterday

all my troubles seemed so far away ..
now it seems as tho they're here to stay.
oh, i believe in yesterday

suddenly
im not half the girl i used to be
theres a shadow hanging over me
oh yesterday came suddenly,[?]

whyd he have to go
i dont know he wouldnt say
i said something wrong,
now i long for yesterday

yesterday
love was such an easy game to play
now i need a place to hide away
oh i believe in yesterday

whyd he have to go
i dont know he wouldnt say
i said something wrong,
now i long
for yesterday..


o.o

man,
im so tired,
i cant even cry anymore.


im too tired to even cry.

but i can type a blog.
[crazy -.-]



ive been wondering about wat i should do about this dogtag.
ive been so used to wearing it all the time...
nowadays i bring it with me everywhere... but i dont wear it,
it makes me both smile and cry... wen i look at it

its the biggest symbol of you i have.
maybe thats y i cant... let it go.
someone told me to throw it away.
and someone else told me to give it to them and they'll go hide it somewhere so ill never find it...

i said no.
i wanted to keep it.
forever.

and forever, is a long time..
its so long... its never reachable.

i guess im treating it
like how im treating u...


i try not to think about it
but its always there,
always near me [in my pocket]
but if its not in my pocket i always keep it in my sight.
i still care for it.
never dropped it before,
never let anyone else hold it w.o me holding it too.
never shy to explain it.

it helped me sleep.
it helped me thru tough times
it reminded me that someone cares.
it reminded me that you still loved me and cared for me so much that ...u gave it to me.

it made me realize,
..ull be leaving,



why... did u have to go..
why couldnt we still jus be friends.
at least say hi to each other wen we pass by or wen we're near each other.





it kills me to see you...
but we cant talk.

not even a wave...
nothing.



and i ALWAYS see you.
its inevitable
u always seem to be there.
no matter what..



how am i supposed to get thru this.

if i see you this much.
or
if i have all these things that i used daily... that are from you
or
if i pass by all these places that.. remind me of you
or
....
if i cant get you out of my freakin thoughts.mind...life,



tell me how...

><




hmm,
yesterday,
all my troubles seemed so far away..
stupid problems.
that are here to stay...

i miss 'yesterday'

.
im not as strong a girl i used to be.
...
i cry a lot
and ive been out of it,

losing papers
forgetting a lot...
almost failing stuff.

im... not myself anymore..
most of the time,

i mean, i can still be that fake girl i am most of the time,..

thats easy,
remember? im a good actor.

i miss 'yesterday'
when u brang out.. ME...
...



love was such an EASY game to play..

now i have to hide.
hide it all. away.

i want 'yesterday' to come back


..

i look back to 'yesterday'
why did you want me to go..
why'd you have to go...

u told me...
it wasnt clear..
did i say something wrong..?
...was it partially my fault.


stupid...'yesterday'.



....



o.o

and now so i can forget about yesterday...

i should..


keep myself busy...
but the thing is.

i dont want to be busy anymore.
im so tired.


im tired of it...
of everything.
of ALL of it.

i dont want it anymore,
any of it.
i want to not worry about anything for a day.
just one day...

...thats my only birthday wish..


just for one day...

nothing,




but thats impossible,
...







geee, im gonna have a great birthday this year.