im sick of it,

im tired of it.
I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE.


i cant get over u.



and it hurts,


because i cant go around like you do.
it seems like ur over it,
ur done with it.
u put it all aside.

u put me aside...



as if,
love was never a part of it.





LOVE.

how can love hurt more than hate.
i dont care if you hate me,
ill jus let you be then if you hate me.
i wouldnt hate you but id let you be.
but i cant just let you be.

im attached to you.
ive grown onto you.
im STUCK.

because " i love you "
because of the "i love you's"

why!
WHY!?!?

cant i let go of you.




i get it.
you want me to leave you alone,
you want me to stop
you want me to shut up
you want me to not love you anymore.
is that it?
thats wat im getting from you.
you dont love me.
you dont care.
you dont give a dam about my feelings,

thats y u play around with them so much.
because you know... that you can get away with it
because you can get away with me.
..because you know id do anything for you
ANYTHING.... anything..
because of my longing to be loved.
to feel loved.

because i dont get the attention i long for anywhere else but when im with you
because you make me happy.

but i guess you dont see that.
i guess you dont see me for my entirety.
or at least how i feel...




lately you've been avoiding me.

thats y i said i get it...


because... i need to let go.
I NEED TO FCKING LET GO OF YOU.
..

stupid superglue.
...


i let myself stay too long,..




i try to avoid you now too.
its hard.

you always seem to be... there

but its odd.
because i find myself looking for you...
and i hate it.






let go already dammit.

ur showing me all the signs ...
telling me to just leave you alone.




so i will,
im trying.





... but my birthdays coming up..

and its gonna be lonely.
not lonely as in solitude,
but lonely as in the feeling of loneliness.....
ill be surrounded by people.
but its not the same..








all i want for my birthday is to be happy.
REALLY happy.

and i dont know how ill ever get that...


...


this dogtag....
..