like i said.

it's always been a problem in my relationships.
dont be sorry.
ur not the first.
its me.

its because im too damn busy.
ive basically scheduled my life to be busy because i dont want to be home...
and i dont want to deal with home...
but with that it seems like i attached everything else to home.
like friends.
and fun.
and relaxation.

and seriously.
im thinking its a stupid trait i got from my mom.
because she is always seriously busy,
ever since she quit her job from intel.
[near my 8th grade year]
shes always been working...
and it seems like she doesnt have time for me or ron anymore.
so i started going out.
and ron started going out.
but then eventually it made the whole family split.

and its not like i LIKE it.
i hate it.
but now its normal for all of us.
to all be busy.

but ron hates it.
and thats why ron doesnt like me as much anymore.
because it seems like i dont have time for him.


but ever since 8th grade ive been having to deal with my mom being busy.
and id always yell at her and fight with her saying things like
"you're to busy. u dont spend time with me anymore, u dont care.
it doesnt seem like u love me. you never listen to me....."

and i guess just recently i learned..
thats exactly how ron feels towards me..

and thats how kevin felt....
well dennis... it was different, but yea..

and i wouldnt be surprised if this is how u felt.



karma.?
wat goes around comes around -JT



but now i strive to win back my brothers love.
even tho i gave up on my dad.
if u can tell my family issues are very... complex
and to the point where.
its really hard to follow.
so im sorry im sharing with them to you.


but anyway.


yea,
im busy.
..

and im sorry.


in the past...
i had to freakin ... schedule my friends in so that i could hang out with them.
one time i was hanging out with rosa and sheryl
and i passed out on sheryls bed cuz i was so tired.


so you shouldnt be sorry.
its fine.

i know how u feel....

but let me know how i can fix it.
because i don't want to be like my mom anymore.