secret kisses

a secret: something that is not known or seen or is not meant to be known or seen by others..

thats wat our relationship is.

no one should know,
no one should see.

the secret hand holding
under the table..
around the corner
under the jackets,
on the bench or ledge when no ones around
under the stars,
when you walk me home..
-which in my case, im sorry to say that i cant see those stars
im blinded by the fact that people are supposed to blinded...
undercover hand holding,
you know
those kinds of brief little bits of hand touches
like a brush of your hand
or while we exchange an object and our hands stay touching for even a second longer after we're supposed to let go..

let go,
i need to let go...
of you,
and us
and our secret hand holding.



no one should know,
no one should see

the secret kisses
on the couch
in the hallway of my house wen we end up being alone
in the side yard
in my room doorway..

the same secret kisses that take place wen we end up in our best friends room alone,
you know, right after he leaves, we caress each others lips
but we still have enough piece of mind to hear his footsteps coming back
so we can keep it a secret..

the same secret kisses that happen after work, or during.
in the parking lot.
while we talk about our lives

the same secret kisses we share before we get to my houses street corner at 10 or 11 at night
in the dark under those same stars im blinded to see because of the unfairness of the world..
the universe keeps the secrets of the stars from me while i hide those kisses from the everything besides those stars and the night sky.
why! must it all be a secret.

those kisses that hold me in a place where i can close my eyes and not be terrified of the dark
because here,
im attached to someone.
im not afraid,
but then im afraid to let go.
i wouldnt want it to end,

but because its a secret and no one should know
we have to stop.
and act 'normal' , as if...
we didnt love each other.
like you act.. every single day...
as if you didnt love me..

you're either a pretty good actor.
or its not really...


still,
no one should know,
no one should see..


our secret ways of communicating.

the way we have eye contact wenever a hot girl passes by
because i know you're checking her out,
and if i look back at you,
you know if i agree or disagree.

the we have eye contact wenever we see random ass cleavage off some random girl who has ass
because we both know we're looking
but i dont REALLY get jealous because
i know you,
you cant help it.
but i secretly still love you anyway
even if those girls are prettier than me..

because we have a secret.

the way wenever we DO give something to each other, our hands touch
and it feels as if its an eternity,
and i know you feel that too,
because of the way you look at me during that millisecond of eternity

the way we never really have to say iloveyou wen we're around each other..
because our eyes tell each other everything.
they SCREAM iloveyou at each other.
so loud,
no one can hear.
its that much of a secret.

because
no one should know
and no one should see.

our past.
those years went by way to fast,
..
and i dont want those real years to be our last together.
..
your're going away
and it'll be 13 weeks til you get back,
but in all honestly those 10 days youll be back,
wont be enough...
because i KNOW... im only going to be alone with you for probably 5 secret minutes.
and those secret minutes can never possibly fill the gap of my secret longing for you during those 13 weeks of absence.

in short,
dont go.

i secretly want you..
to never leave my side.


but why.

why does it have to be a secret.
i have to keep it in my pocket and never let it show, because
no one should know
and no one should see...

secrets dont make friends tho.
thats all i really know
about secrets,

so are we friends?
i dont know..
no one should know.