i think my mother disowned me.

because i didnt want to go to church today.

now shes mad at me,
doesnt want to give me rides, cook me food, talk to me.

so i screwed my life over..
because i didnt want to go to a place where i dont feel like i belong.
a place where im forced to sit there... -.- and listen.
a place where i dont feel comfortable.


im not hating christianity. or anything.
i just.... dont enjoy going to church.
its boring and i feel out of place.

ur not supposed to force people to go anyway.

she freaking gives more allowance if u go to church.
so my freakin brother gets paid to sit there.
with her.


i guess its a filipino thing,
to be religious and all..

but i dont feel the need to be religious.
as long as im a good person.
i think im fine.

but she things im evil.
like im some sort of evil... thing.
and she doesnt want anything to do with me.

just because i didnt want to go to church.



is this fair?

because i have my own opinion about things.
im shunned.
..by my own mother.


but i guess thats how life goes right?

i wish i could just go back to work on sunday mornings.
instead of having wake up 'early' and sit there and listen.
and feel... bored and out of place.
[yes im repetitive because... its how i freakin feel]


gee thanks mom.
if u think ignoring ur daughter will bring u closer to God.
go ahead and do it.





but even the prodigal son came back,
in time.

and if that even ever happens.
i wonder if ull even care.