i cant believe it....

jeffrey died.

our pet fish died...

we've only had it since the sunday of the MHT fair.
it was rly supposed to be for my cousin, i think,
for his birthday,

but wen i got back frm the fair..
they came home and said they jus came back frm the party.


so, we kept it.
it was $1.00 and ashley[ramos] won it [=
her and stacey named it jeffrey.
we found out it was a boy.


jeffrey became rons ...child

he loved jeffrey.

he fed it and took care of it,
changed its water.



and then, we went to petsmart;
to get it a tank w/ all the other fun stuff- gravel, plants, toy, fishfood.
and we were even planning to get a bigger tank and have friends and all that ....=/

and we found out jeffrey can JERK ! =P
it kinda swims backwards but doesnt-ish
lol,


we were doing pretty well,
and the tank looked rly good.

ron took rly good care of jeffrey,
he got a thermometer to check if the water was fine for him.


today,
he even cleaned the tank, BY HAND.

he totally, rinsed the gravel [handful by handful]
cleaned the tank and
fixed up the tank again

but he left him in the cup
[he leaves jeffrey in the cup whenever he cleans the tank]


wen we got back frm watever we were doing,
we went into the piano room-
so that we can put it into the tank again,

he does it,
cuz he always does.

so he took the spoon thingy,[ pretty big spoon ]
and the cup
to the sink..


and apparently he didnt clog up the sink,
before trying to tranfer..


and jeffrey died, or 'departed'
apprx. 15 min ago.


i didnt know it happened i was watching its tank...

until i heard ron and mom

arguing,
then i heard,
'i didnt know...' frm mom
and then ron screaming something back that made me immediately think of jeffrey...


he went to his room and slammed the door shut,
and 'locked' it.


i knew,



i went and pushed the door open enough to 'unlock' it.
and he was sitting behind the door... in the corner.


crying,




i havent seen my little brother cry,
for the longest time....


and,
it made my heart hurt.

i cant stand to see him cry.



then my mom came in and,
talk/scream-ish thing,
b/t us 3.
maybe i did something wrong..?


and then,
ron was all 'get out! im never going to talk to you..' [somethinglikethat]



so i went outside and kept telling my mom to leave him alone.
because


its like,

having your child die.
after uve done EVERYTHING for it.
nurture it,
feed it,
clean its place up,
buy hella sht for it,
love it...


and then watch it..

go all down the drain.



i feel so bad.
i have no idea wat to do.
or how to deal w/ this.




its the 2nd time ive seen my lil bro like this,
[besides 'X' reason...]



and its killing me,




i went to my room
and started crying,


thinking to myself;


jeffrey's dead....

5 min. of bawling...

and i hear my mom bothering ron about buying another fish.

YEA RIGHT!
that may help,
but wtf....
we were gonna buy fish so that jeffrey can have friends,
jus leave him alone.

poor ron,
i have props for him,

omggg,
idk wat to do.


he hates me now,

and my mom too i guess,

i wish we can rewind,
so that jeffrey can still be alive.

i love jeffrey too ron,
i hope u know that.

='/

my heart hurts.